Do you, as young people of today, feel like most things that happen to you are someone else's fault? Even worse, do you blame someone or something else for your problems before you take responsibility for it yourself?
For example, I asked my son "How did the DVD get scratched?" He says "I don't know, I wasn't watching it." "OK, but did you put it back in its case where it belongs?" He said "I just left it near the TV so I could watch it later."
"Did it fall on the floor at anytime, while you had it next to the TV."
He said, "Yes, but I picked it up and put it right back on the side of the TV where it was sitting" "Son, do you think it could have gotten scratched when it slid across the floor, because I'm assuming that's what happened by the skid marks on the DVD?".
"How did you know that's what happened MOM?... You're so good," he said.
"Yes, baby I am and you're so grounded for not telling me the truth from the beginning," I said.
"Now, go to your room."
It's funny, but that's an example of how most young people think about their actions nowadays. If you don't directly MEAN to do, then it wasn't your fault.
Here's the problem with this kind of attitude. If you never acknowledge the problem, you don't even understand that there is one. So, if you don't realize that there is a problem, you're going to repeat it until you do realize it. That'll create a cycle of repeated bad habits and behaviors that will cause bad consequences and a loss of friends.
Instead, here are three steps to getting better at taking responsibility for your actions:
1. Think Before You Do Anything.
Have you ever heard the words "Think before you speak." Well, I'm going to take it one step further and say "Think before you DO." Take the time to get your thoughts together and plan your actions. Ask questions to make yourself think about the consequences.
For example, if you're suppose to be in the house by midnight and you know you want to go somewhere that might make you late, ask for permission to come in at a later time, so you don't break curfew. Take responsibility for your activities, so you don't lose your freedom.
2. Always Tell the Truth.
It sounds simple. Yet when you know you've done something that you wish you hadn't done or something you feel ashamed or guilty about... telling the truth can be the hardest thing in the world to do. You know the consequences aren't going to be good, but it's better to tell the truth, then be labeled as a liar. Nobody likes to deal with a liar. Lies only make your situation worse. Sometimes, lies make it look worse than it really is. So, even though truth hurts, its way better than being a liar.
3. Accept the Consequences.
OK. You did it. Now what?
Now you commit to the action of making it right.
Tell the whole story.
Accept it if people get mad at you.
Accept the side comments.
Accept being disliked and talked about.
Find something else you can do to right the wrong you created. If you can't, then help yourself to move past the mistake and find peace in something new.
For example, if you were a bully and you really hurt someone and now you feel sorry about it. First try apologizing. If it's not accepted, give your time to another good cause in the community.
Help plant trees. Pick up the litter in the park. Volunteer at a shelter.
It's not easy to get past it and you'll need to work at it daily, but you're stronger than any problem you face.
The most important thing to do is to pull out the life lesson.
Ask yourself... what did I learn from this experience? What did I do right? What could I have done better? You'll grow stronger and wiser by continuing to ask yourself questions that make you stretch and grow past your mistakes.
So, now that you know how to think about your actions, tell the truth at all times and accept your consequences, how are you going to apply them to your life right now? What is it that you need to take responsibility for? What is it that you need to let go?
Remember, life will always have challenges and disappointments, but it's how you deal with them that's make you the person you are. So what's it going to be? Are you up for the challenge?
I believe YOU are!.
إرسال تعليق